Who I Am

3 Things You Must Do to Vote

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment
Get ready to vote

Voting is one of the best ways you can participate in the wonderful democracy we call America. But this year, the pandemic and other factors have conspired to create a bit of crazy, so the best way to assure your voice counts in the 2020 election is to start preparing to vote NOW.

Voting is a basic right, but the process can be complicated. I’ve done some research, and although procedures vary by state, here are three things you definitely need to address in the next week or so if you are planning to vote. (And I hope you are!)

1. Find voting deadlines and requirements for your locality

It can go by a variety of names, but your local board of elections (or county recorder or local registrar) manages the voting process in your area. It handles everything from voter registration forms to hosting early elections. You can find it by searching “vote in _____ (your state or county)” or through your local area website. Through this office, you can find deadlines and forms needed for registering to vote and absentee voting.

2. Register to vote

You can register one of three ways:

  • Online, via many different sites, including
  • Through your local Board of Elections
    • contact them via phone, website, or in person for a registration form
  • Through the DMV
    • keep in mind that because of the pandemic, many DMV offices require an appointment and this might be the most time consuming route

3. Decide how you will vote

There are three ways to vote: in person on Election Day (November 3, 2020), by mail via absentee ballot, or in person by voting early at the local election office or designated location.

If you opt to vote in person, be sure to find out where your polling location is and what hours it will be open. Don’t forget to take your mask, as there will probably be lots of people standing in line. Be prepared to wait if you must. Many states require some form of personal identification to vote. Be sure you take appropriate ID with you to the polls.

If you opt to vote by mail via absentee ballot, find out right now what your state requires to obtain and return an absentee ballot. Some states might only let you vote by mail if you meet certain criteria, e.g. you are a college student or you have a medical condition. This year, because of the pandemic, states are being less restrictive. But because deadlines are approaching, and the mail can be slow, you do not want to put this off. Many states have an online form to request an absentee ballot. Check with your state’s election site or your local election board today.

You can also opt to vote early in person. I didn’t realize you could vote early until I did research for this post! In the state of Virginia, you can vote early at your local board of elections office, without needing a special reason, starting 45 days before Election Day and ending the Saturday before Election Day. This option exists in other states too. With all of the concern about the USPS getting ballots out and returned in time, I’m not sure why this method of voting isn’t getting more attention. So, if you are hesitant to vote in person and worried about mail in ballots, explore this option in your locality.

Helpful resources

I know it’s a lot of information, but remember, you need to cover three basic things: get information from your local board of elections, register to vote, and decide now how you will vote, because if it’s by mail, you need to get rolling on that now.

If you are computer savvy, there are plenty of websites out there to help. I liked https://www.vote.org/ because it had links to register, to check your registration status, to vote by mail, and to find your polling place. It also has links to state specific information; scroll down to the bottom of the landing page to find links to your state.

If you aren’t computer savvy, just find your local board of elections office and ask them for help. They should be able to give you all of the information and forms you need to vote.

Do you have questions about voting? Have you had trouble getting ready to vote? Do you have any tips to add? Please share!

Thanks for getting ready to vote with me!

Improving vocabulary/Who I Am/Words and Technology

Preserving our humanity

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 5 Comments

Many factors of modern life are conspiring to steal our humanity, and that is particularly concerning now, when we need our humanity the most.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, humanity is compassionate, sympathetic, or generous behavior or disposition; the quality or state of being humane.  Unfortunately, these days I’m feeling a lack of sympathy and generosity, and I blame three main contributors.

First, social media. We foolishly think in this time of social distancing that Facebook posts or Instagram likes or Snap stories can keep us connected. We are wrong. Research shows that using social media can contribute to anxiety and poor self-esteem. It also shows that communication via texting cannot replace the benefits of actually having a conversation with someone, either as a voice call or an in-person discussion. A laughing emoji is a poor substitute for a smile on a loved one’s face.

Also, social media platforms reward extreme statements and strong ideological stances. They do little to encourage nuanced dialogue or empathetic interaction. Facebook claims its mission is to bring people together, but scrolling through posts and comments often reveals more vitriol than compassion. So while it continues to be wildly popular, social media does little to promote our humanity.

Second, and closely linked to the problem of social media, we have the current political climate. Politicians and leaders on both sides distill complicated issues into their simplest and most dramatic elements, leaving no room for discussion or compromise. An all or nothing mentality pervades public conversation, which dismisses moderation and suggests that every American must claim one of two opposing and hostile perspectives. Such a simplistic approach to policy and attitudes does not acknowledge our humanity.

Third, we are living in a pandemic, which means every day we are assaulted with data about the virus. We hear statements like, “over five million infected” and “at least 160,000 dead” so often that the numbers have lost their meaning. We fail to grasp that “160,000” includes wives, grandfathers, neighbors, and friends – unless we are forced to. Perhaps we don’t want to closely consider the human toll of this virus, because to do so would be too depressing.

Another unfortunate side effect of the coronavirus is that the very things we must do to prevent its spread – social distancing, limiting contact, wearing face coverings- also diminish our connection to each other. But social distancing does not have to mean social isolation. Now, more than ever, we must find safe and effective ways to connect that preserve public health as well as our need for interaction.

As humans, we are complicated and nuanced. We are inconsistent and conflicted, and yet we need each other, flaws and all, to survive.  We must accept differences and discrepancies, both within ourselves and within our communities, if we are going to function as a society. We must humbly bring the best of ourselves to every interaction with the goal of bringing out the best in the people around us. That means showing compassion to those who are neglected and generosity to those with whom we disagree. That means calling instead of commenting, writing a letter instead of dictating a text, and showing up in ways that are safe and meaningful for people we love and people we don’t even know. 

We must fight to preserve our humanity.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary

What is a health concierge?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

This Word Nerd loves learning about the meanings and origins of words, but not when she is trying to figure out health care coverage. There is a time and a place for lofty, interesting vocabulary, and it is not when one is trying to understand insurance benefits.

Daughter is hopefully starting college soon, and we are tackling paperwork, including a medical insurance waiver form, which sent us on a quest for deductible amounts and preauthorization fine print.

The insurance company website wasn’t terribly helpful, so I decided to call and speak to a person. Of course, I reached an automated answering service that called itself “The Aetna Concierge” and offered a list of menu of options including, “speak with a nurse case manager” and “speak with a health concierge.”

Daughter asked, “What the heck is a health concierge?”

Excellent question.

The word concierge comes from the French, probably an alteration of Latin conservus fellow slave, from com- + servus slave. According to Merriam-Webster, a concierge is:

  • a resident in an apartment building especially in France who serves as doorkeeper, landlord’s representative, and janitor
  • a usually multilingual hotel staff member who handles luggage and mail, makes reservations, and arranges tours
  • a person employed (as by a business) to make arrangements or run errands

Aetna, are you telling me that your customer service reps are going to run errands for me and set up tours? 🙁 I didn’t think so. So please, use language that people can understand. Give the option to speak to a customer service representative and stop trying to be fancy.

Fortunately, when I, on a guess, chose “health concierge” from the automated menu, I was connected to a woman who was able to promptly answer all of our questions. She was very helpful. Her title was not. Health insurance is complicated enough without unnecessary pretentious words. These days, especially during the pandemic, we need clarity and transparency. This is one situation when I don’t want to see a Word Nerd Word.

Sidebar: As we completed the paperwork, daughter stated, “I’ve been looking forward to being an adult for so long, looking forward to the freedom, only to figure out that it involves a lot of annoying paperwork.” I told her to enjoy college before the “full onslaught of adult crap” starts after graduation. She greatly appreciated my sage advice. 😉

What pretentious, over complicated, or confusing words have you come across lately? I’d be happy to tackle them for you here.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

News from book business/Who I Am/Words and Technology

Which generation reads the most?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 3 Comments

A few weeks ago, I shared some basic characteristics of the main generations of our time: The Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and Generation Z. My guest post this week applies some Word Nerd information to the generations – how much do each tend to read? Aren’t you curious? I was. My guests Isabel Cabrerra and Lachlan Brown share some interesting trends.

We all know the stereotypes of the different generations. 

Because the 5 generations—Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Baby Boomers, and the Silent Generation—all have different expectations and experiences that affect their lives.

But how do they affect their reading habits?

Best By The Numbers set out to answer this question. They created the following infographic which dives deep into the reading habits of the 5 generations.

Here is a quick snapshot of their findings:

  • Gen Z read even more since the start of coronavirus, more so than the other generations.
  • Millennials read the most books.
  • Physical books trump digital editions for all generations.
  • Bestseller lists generate book ideas for Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation, whereas Gen Z head to social media.
  • Public libraries are used by Millennials far more than any other generation.
  • And something fun? The older French people get, the more likely they are to read erotic fiction. 

What can we glean from these stats?

Every generation likes to read, including tech-loving Millennials and Gen Zs. 

Coronavirus has been extremely hard for a lot of industries, but especially for small publishers. Luckily, it seems that there is still a huge appetite for reading books and online content across all age ranges.

Check out the infographic below for more insights into the reading habits of the 5 generations.

I found these stats very interesting, but have to say that I, a Gen Xer, have not heard of most of the books on the Gen X bookshelf. Where is The Help? Do you recognize the books on your generation’s bookshelf? How do your reading habits compare to this infograph?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Favorite Authors/Who I Am

Embrace creativity in chaos

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 6 Comments

I’ve been very frustrated this week.

We’re in the middle of a pandemic, which means there are fewer places I can go, and yet I still feel like I don’t have enough hours in my day to accomplish everything I want to do. On top of that, there is all the ambiguity about school starting and whether or not fall sports will actually happen. I spent Monday shopping for dorm supplies I’m afraid my daughter won’t actually use. Usually as I approach August, I’m looking forward to getting back to a routine, but this year, I’m not sure what my routine will be. All of this is making me a tad befuddled.

I need to do something to decrease the befuddled and increase the calm. Can you relate? Better yet, do you know how to find the calm? I’ve got two things.

First, exercise, because moving always clears my head, lifts my emotions, and burns calories. (Woe, the middle aged metabolism.) So, daily exercise is a must. Yoga does not happen often enough in my life.

Second- creating. Making time for things like writing, playing piano, fiddling with my camera, painting a rock, or sketching a flower always puts my soul at ease. And my soul needs some ease, doesn’t yours?

To that end, we’ve designated Wednesday evenings as craft nights in our household. Every week, my daughter, youngest son, and I gather art supplies and turn off the TV. We’ve folded origami airplanes and origami flowers (the planes were WAY more successful), we’ve blended watercolor paints to make trees (I need A LOT more practice), and we’ve sketched orcas and sea turtles. 🙂

Keep Going: 10 ways to stay creative in good times and bad is a dandy little book by Austin Kleon, and it partially inspired COVID Craft Night. It has a lot of great quotes about the power of creativity, and I’d like to share one of my favorites.

This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal. I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge — even wisdom. Like art.

Toni Morrison

I don’t know when or where the great Ms. Morrison first shared this, but boy does it seem applicable today. Let’s take her words to heart. Let’s not wallow in despair or fear or self-pity. Let’s get our hands dirty and make something. Write something. “Do language.” Let’s seek the way to knowledge and wisdom. Let’s do art.

If you need ideas for getting started, here are some links to some free resources:

Where do you find creative inspiration? How are you coping in these crazy days?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary/Who I Am

What’s my generation and does it matter?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 3 Comments

With all of the social unrest regarding race relations and our country’s response to the corona virus, I’ve been consuming lots of material to help me understand our country’s history and social structures. Frequently, articles and podcasts refer to generations and how the perceived characteristics of each generation influence their response to our current struggles. I know what a Baby Boomer is, but I get confused by terms like “Gen X”, “Millennial”, and “The Silent Generation”. (Ever heard that one before?)

If you, like me, don’t have your generations straight, here’s the low down on everyone born between 1928 and 2012. However, like Alfie Kohn, author of an article titled Gener(aliz)ations: News flash: All people in your age bracket aren’t necessarily similar, I think we should be cautious about making sweeping generalizations about groups made up of several million people based solely on age.

The Silent Generation: 1928-1945

These people were born between 1928 and 1945 and are in their 70s and 80s today. This generation is one of the smallest modern generations, as The Great Depression and World War II kept birthrates low. Time magazine first labeled this group “The Silent Generation” in 1951. Experts suggest that because of the McCarthy Era of the 1950’s and the social expectation that children should be seen and not heard, this generation of Americans is hesitant to speak out or disturb the social order. In general, people in The Silent Generation married and had children early. They also started the “divorce revolution” when they got older. They value hard work and saving money. Note: Bernie Sanders is a member of The Silent Generation, and obviously he has no fear of speaking out.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48608243141_1f1762cb79_o.jpg
Photo credit: Gage Skidmore via flickr CC-BY-SA

Baby Boomers: 1946-1964

This generation has been one of the largest modern generations, thanks to increased birth rates after WWII. Baby Boomers led the Civil Rights Movement and Woodstock and fought in Vietnam, but they are also often characterized as being self-absorbed. (?) Although many Baby Boomers are now retired, when they were younger, they tended to put work first and inspired the term “workaholic”. Baby Boomers were the first generation to have a large number of women join the work force. Because they didn’t have as much technology growing up, Boomers are believed to have outstanding interpersonal skills. They have, however, adapted to modern technology and use it to improve productivity, while their younger counterparts use it more for connectivity.

Generation X: 1965-1980

That’s me! Generation X is often considered “the lost generation”, sandwiched in between Baby Boomers and Millennials. Gen Xers have waited longer to marry and start families, seeking to develop themselves first. They have also seen even more women enter the workforce than the Baby Boomers. Perhaps in response to their hard working, career focused parents, Generation Xers value work-life balance. They also are more likely to embrace change and fight to combat corruption. The women of Generation X were the first generation to outpace their male counterparts in education. (E.g. more women earned college degrees in their 20s and 30s than men.) I got married at 23 and opted to be a stay at home mom in my 30s, so I don’t fit the general descriptors for my generation, but I can see the trends.

Millennials: 1981-1996

Do these devices = the enemy?

Whew, Millennials get a bad rap. They are often characterized as narcissistic, having been brought up by parents who wanted to befriend instead of discipline them. They are also described as confident, entitled, and the most depressed and anxious generation in modern history. They love technology, but some fear that engagement with tech has led to anxiety and poor social skills. They are more diverse and better educated than previous generations, however there is a sharp economic divide between those with a college degree and those without. Many graduated from college during The Great Recession, which hampered them financially. They carry a lot of student debt (double that of their Gen X counterparts) and have less accumulated wealth than previous generations did in their 20s and 30s. More have chosen to live with their parents and put off marriage compared to previous generations. More Millennial women than men have college degrees, and even more women in this generation are working compared to previous generations. Millennials, like Gen Xers, value change and reform. They also appreciate flexibility, and want to work smarter, not harder.

Generation Z: 1997-2012

Ah, my kids are Generation Z, on track to be the most diverse and best educated generation yet. Gen Z Americans lean liberal and think government should be more involved in solving major problems, like environmental change and economic disparity, and they believe the growing diversity in our country is good. They too have been highly influenced by technology, and have also been characterized as anxious. Not much data has been collected about them yet, as the oldest are just 23.

So there you have it, a basic explanation of 20th and 21st century generations. Again, while it’s interesting to look back on historical and social trends, I take issue with characterizing millions of people with a few adjectives. An interviewee on a recent podcast I listened to suggested that the Black Lives Matter movement doesn’t have any leaders because Millennials and Gen Z kids were coddled by their parents, are focused on earning money, and have no desire to serve. That didn’t sit well with me, since I know several people from both of those generations who do not fit that characterization.

Personality, education, race, socioeconomic status, age, and developmental maturity all play a role in how we respond to situations. While it’s easier to think of people in terms of one or two characteristics, we have to appreciate that we are much more complicated, and therefore, so are our issues.

What’s your generation and how do you compare to the description I shared?

If you’d like to learn more about generational trends, check out these articles (which also served as my sources):

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!