I’m desperately trying to figure out how to bring more happiness into this world. I’m looking everywhere- the Bible, Buddhism, Kelly Corrigan, Reasons to Be Cheerful, and books, including The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. This wonderful book is a collection of interviews between two spiritual giants, the current Dalai Lama, a Buddhist in exile from Tibet, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, a Christian from South Africa. Both men have insightful things to say about happiness, suffering, loss, and what we need to do to get along better. I highly recommend. It’s not religious, it’s spiritual, and a much needed read at this time.
Regarding happiness, the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop agree we need to think less about ourselves and spend more time thinking about others. The Dalai Lama says:
The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warmheartedness… We are social animals, and cooperation is necessary for our survival, but cooperation is entirely based on trust. When there is trust, people are brought together– whole nations are brought together. When you have a more compassionate mind and cultivate warmheartedness, the whole atmosphere around you becomes more positive and friendlier… With too much self-focus your vision becomes narrow, and with this even a small problem appears out of proportion and unbearable.
The Dalai Lama, The Book of Joy by Douglas Abrams
I feel like, at least in America, we are definitely thinking about ourselves A LOT. My social media posts, my freedoms, my rights, my sacrifices. Concern for others often falls low on the collective priority list. No wonder we are currently flooded with anxiety, anger, and distrust.
The etymology of kindness
The Dalai Lama is definitely onto something, especially when we look at the etymology of kindness. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, kindness derives from the Old English word kyndnes which meant “nation,” also “produce, an increase.” It also has roots in the word kin, as in one’s family, race or relations, as in “friendly, deliberately doing good to others,” from Middle English kinde, from Old English (ge)cynde “natural, native, innate,” originally “with the feeling of relatives for each other.” By the 13th century, kindness came to mean “courtesy, noble deeds, kind feelings, and the quality or habit of being kind”.
Do you notice what I do here? The word kindness is rooted in our relationships with others (feeling of relatives for each other) and our nation. Happiness cannot be achieved by focusing merely on me. We need more we, less me. We will all enjoy more happiness when we all do a better job of thinking of the collective we, of embracing kind feelings, and exhibiting kind habits.
How do you see kindness around you, and what do you do to share it?
And please consider getting a copy of The Book of Joy. My friend Lynne says the audio book is done very well.
Thank you to Joseph Terrell for inspiring this look at the etymology of kindness (check out his comment here) and Online Etymology Dictionary, Macmillian Dictionary Blog, and Speak Media for information about kindness.
Thanks for being kind with me!
