Who I Am

Who I Am Project: He Loves Me

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 14 Comments

This is the February installment of the Who I Am Project, which prompted participants to describe people who we love and who love us.  For more on the Who I Am Project, visit Dana at Kissmylist.com. 

In my marriage, two roles play out.  One of us is confident, logical, unflappable.  The other is creative, sensitive, and most definitely flappable.

Guess which one I am?

In the past 26 years I’ve known my husband, I’ve seen him lose it on exactly three occasions.

  1. The wallpaper incident.  It was the “BC” era (before children) of marriage, the med school years.  We were living in and renovating an older townhouse in Richmond.  Once, when we were hanging wallpaper in the front room of the townhouse, all of the cutting, soaking, folding, and hanging sent him over the edge.  Maybe it was the glue.
  2. The first night home with the first-born.  Hubby took over baby duty that night so I could get a much-needed nap.  Sometime around 2:30 am, he appeared bedside, holding out a screaming bundle of flailing limbs.  “I can’t do this anymore.”  Literally.
  3. The devastating news.  When husband got word that a beloved partner and mentor in his medical practice had been diagnosed with cancer, he had to leave the room, requesting time to himself.

On the flip side, Mr. Wonderful has seen me seriously lose it at least three times EVERY YEAR.  During med school, my breakdowns usually came the night before his big exams.  (Sorry honey!)

A Meghan Trainor lyric comes to mind…

You’ve gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I’m acting crazy, tell me everything’s all right.

God has given me many blessings in this life, but my husband is truly His greatest gift.  Mr. Wonderful doesn’t give me flowers (any more), nor does he buy fancy gifts.  But he did sit through all the Twilight movies with me, and he has a knack for diffusing tense situations with his wit.  His greatest “love language” is his ability to share words of affirmation and support.

  • When I, the English major, decided to quit teaching and pursue PT school, even though my job was our only source of income during his medical training, he supported me.
  • When I, the English major, had to take five science and math classes to apply to PT school, he demonstrated outstanding patience and ability to tutor, especially when I crammed a year’s worth of physics into a nine week summer course.  We endured well over the annual quota of breakdowns during that challenge.
  • When I spent my mother’s last night on this earth next to her bed, holding her hand, he sat beside me and rubbed my back.  All night.
  • When I shared that I wanted to write a book and start a blog, he totally backed me up, even though he hates writing.

Roses-001

 

Spending this many years under Mr. Wonderful’s calm influence has made me into a better person.  I’m less reactive.  I pause and try to communicate instead of immediately switching to “freak out status”.  Of course, sleep deprivation and the behavior of children still hold sway…

I’d like to think I’ve rubbed off on him a bit.  Maybe, under my influence, he’s more sensitive and introspective.  But, that’s his story to tell, not mine. 😉

How has a relationship in your life made you a better person?

 

Thanks for stopping by!

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Improving grammar

“I Am Well” vs. “I Am Good”

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 13 Comments

Oldest son and I have a running debate.  Whenever I say, “How are you?”, he replies, “I’m well.” I cringe, every time, because I don’t think that’s correct grammar, even though people frequently say “I’m well”.  He knows it irks me, and that’s why he says it.  But I’ve done some research, and I’m here today to finally prove that my way is the right way.

What was my word of the year?  Humble?  😉

Anyway, here’s the language low-down, with help from Grammar Girl.

Action Verbs vs Linking Verbs

Most verbs describe an action:

  • run
  • talk
  • drive

Adverbs modify, or describe, action verbs:

  • run well
  • talk quietly
  • drive carefully

Usually, adverbs end in -ly, but sometimes they don’t, which makes things tricky.

There are special verbs called linking verbs that connect words.  The most common linking verbs come in a form of the verb “to be”, however other verbs like “look” and “become” count as linking verbs too.

  • She is pretty.  (“is” links she and pretty)
  • The sky is blue.  (“is” links sky and blue)
  • He looks tired.  (“looks” links he and tired)

If you can substitute some form of “to be” for the verb in a sentence, and the sentence still makes sense, it’s probably a linking verb.

The Confusing Part

Usually, an adjective is used after a linking verb to describe the noun in front of the verb.  (FYI, it’s called a predicate adjective.  Use that at the next party you go to.)  In the examples above, pretty, blue, and tired are all adjectives.

Complication: “well” can be an adverb OR a predicate adjective.

  • He runs well  (well = adverb, describing run)
  • I am well (well = predicate adjective describing I, but most resources say that in this case “well” means “healthy”, not “I’m having a great day.” )

The thing to remember is linking verbs describe emotions or states of being.  So, when someone asks, “How are you?”, the proper way to answer if you’re having a good day is “I am good”, because “good” is a predicate adjective describing I.  Any adjective will do here… happy, tired, fabulous, etc.  Just not “well”, unless you’ve spent a month in bed with the flu and now you’re healthy again.

So, you know what that means, son…

One more thing

Good is an adjective, used to describe a noun.  Therefore phrases like “He did good” or “She swam good” are not grammatically correct.  “Did” and “swam” are action verbs, and therefore they need an adverb to describe them.  Something like “fabulously” or “well” works here.  😉

Of course, most of the time where I live, when people say this, they are offering a compliment, and I try to treasure the praise and ignore the grammar.

Word Nerd Workout

In the phrase Nobody is perfect

  • what is the verb, and is it an action verb or a linking verb?
  • what part of speech is “perfect”

Also, which of these sentences are grammatically correct?

  1. I am dandy.
  2. I drive awesome.
  3. He looks sleepy.
  4. She did great!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me.

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Improving vocabulary

Why Is A Cold Called A Cold?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak

Youngest son has a case of sore throat and sniffles this week.  Although his forehead didn’t feel warm, I took his temperature just to be sure.  No fever, but we did have an interesting conversation:

Me:  Your temperature is low, so you don’t have a fever.  That’s good news!  I think you just have a cold.

Son:  Well, if I have a cold, shouldn’t my temperature be low?  It’s a COLD, Mom.

This sparked a debate with Dr. Husband about the origin of the name “cold” for the symptoms (stuffy nose, sore throat, cough) caused by various viruses, including “rhinovirus”.  Dr. H. proposed that since compared to something like the flu, a cold doesn’t cause high temperatures, people called the illness “cold”.  I suggested that it was because people think they get colds from cold weather.

wondrous memeIf you like to learn about the origins of words, come visit the Word Nerd every Wednesday, and join in the Wondrous Words Wednesday meme over at Bermuda Onion.  Bloggers share new words they’ve learned or explore some they’re curious about.

I couldn’t find much information about the origin of the name “cold”, at least not from reputable sources.  The National Library of Medicine of the National Institutes of Health will tell you all about what causes colds (rhinovirus or many other viruses), how to treat a cold, and when to call a doctor.  As far as the name goes…

  • erkbiz.com (whatever that is) suggests that because cold causing viruses weren’t discovered until the 1950s, people called the illness a cold because they believed they caught the cold from cold weather.  Actually, it seems like people have colds more often in the winter because we are all inside more, and therefore transmission occurs more readily.
  • Yahoo Answers also links the name “cold” with increased incidence in cold weather.

Here’s the good news: a typical cold should resolve within a week.  If not, call your doctor.  And (soap box moment), antibiotics don’t work on viruses, so don’t ask for one.  Just drink lots of water, get rest, and take a shot of NyQuil if you need sleep.  (This is unofficial medical advice from Dr. Mom; I just fed Dr. Husband when he was in med school… I didn’t take his classes.  😉  )

Word Nerd Workout

Is there a word you know a funny origin story for, or is there one you’d like to know the origin of?  I’m always looking for post ideas.  🙂

Thanks for getting nerdy with me, and stay healthy!

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words and Technology

Are Emojis a Good Thing?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 5 Comments

Did you know that the Oxford English Dictionary “word of the year” for 2015 wasn’t a word at all?!  It was the “Face with tears of joy” emoji.

LOL emoji

That’s not a word, people.

At first, when Dana shared this tidbit, I reacted with horror.  Little yellow faces can not adequately replace words, can they?  Surely the “laughed til I cried” emoji is a sad, insufficient substitute for “You’re hilarious!” or “Stop it, you’re killing me.”

But here’s the thing: we need language to share ideas and to understand each other.  With the advent of social media and ever shorter communication snippets, more of our interactions use abbreviated text.  Since we’re “talking” more often without the assistance of non-verbal cues (facial expressions, gestures, tone), we need something to help convey meaning or we’re going to have serious miscommunication issues.

Here’s an example.  In my house, we speak fluent sarcasm .  Unfortunately, sarcasm gets misinterpreted often enough in real life.  Without the company of facial expression or tone, satirical comments might come off as mean or rude in comments, texts, or emails.  In other words, my people and I need emojis.

Daughter might be the exception.  She manages to establish tone in her digital communication without the help of emojis, since her “dumb phone” can’t send or receive emoticons.  She uses caps lock and phrasing to get her point across.  For example:

MOM I’M DYING STOP IT

doesn’t need the angry face emoji to convey Daughter’s displeasure.  Or,

How bout no

doesn’t need the “smoke from the nostrils” face to communicate her stubborn refusal.

Soon, she’ll get a smart phone with emoticon capability, but I hope she won’t depend too much on those little expressive faces – her language is much funnier.  And that’s the danger – that too many emojis will ruin our drive to combine words in interesting ways.

So here’s where I stand: emojis can not and should not replace the variety and depth of language in communication, but they can assist with conveying meaning.  And, they’re fun.

My favorite emoji: anything with a wink.  That says, “I’m kidding,” just in case people don’t get my sarcasm.

wink emoji

And, my favorite new emoji with the latest iOS update?  The Word Nerd!

word nerd emoji

Unfortunately, gingers don’t get any love in the emoji population… Maybe with the next update.

Do you think Emojis are a good thing?  If you use them, what’s your favorite?

And if you’re interested in how social media is affecting our language, see this article from Buffer.com.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me! 😉

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Improving vocabulary

What Is A Neologism?

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 9 Comments

I was reading an article on how our language is evolving (more on that Friday), and this word kept popping up: neologism. I’d never seen it before, but it seemed like something I should know. Off to the dictionary I went!

If you like to learn new words, join Kathy’s Wondrous Words Wednesday meme where bloggers share new words or their favorites. You can write your own post or comment on someone else’s. It’s a great way to expand your vocabulary.

Back to today’s word:

Neologism \nē-ˈä-lə-ˌji-zəm\ noun, from French néo “new” + Greek logos “word”

 

Need to Google something, I mean search something?
Need to Google something, I mean search something?

Some examples of neologisms that are currently floating around in our language:

  • Google– to search for info on the Internet
  • Noob– someone new to an online community or game
  • Metrosexual – a man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance (no one like that in my house, thanks)
  • Chilax – a slang term used to tell someone to calm down

And, this one is new to me and funny:

  • 404 – someone who is clueless, from the 404 error message when a file/document/page cannot be found.

To see more neologisms, visit 54 Great Examples of Modern Day Neologisms.

I find that teenagers are on the leading edge of neologisms – listen to them for a while and I’m sure you’ll pick up a few new words.

Word Nerd Workout

wondrous memeWhat neologism have you heard lately? Please share!

Don’t forget to visit Wondrous Words Wednesday.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book reviews/How to encourage reading/Recommended kid lit

Where To Find Good Books

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 7 Comments

People know I’m a Word Nerd, and they see my kids with books a lot, so I’m often asked:

Where do you find books to read?

The short answer: lots of places!

The Importance of Variety

In their podcast, Hank and John Green share that they consume content from a variety of sources so they expose themselves to opinions and culture and information that doesn’t always echo or validate their own mindset. This is good advice, and I try to apply it to my reading choices. Sure, I prefer young adult (because that’s what I’m learning to write) and happy stories, but reading a variety of books, including, non-fiction, gives me a wider perspective on my world.

Therefore, I seek out books in lots of different places.

For Adult Books

  • My Book Club: Every year, we choose books based on friend recommendations and reviews we’ve seen in the media. Granted, we are a homogeneous group, very white, middle-class, and educated, but we read a decent variety. I’ve read books I never would have because of my book club. It’s good to get out of your comfort zone, so thanks ladies.  😉  Click My Book Club Books to see a list of my favorite book club reads.

 

  • Goodreads Choice Awards 2015Goodreads: This site is an excellent resource for book lovers
    • The Goodreads Choice Awards highlight favorites of Goodreads users across several genres
    • The Goodreads data base makes recommendations based on books on your shelves or the current book you’re searching.
    • Your friends on Goodreads can recommend books to you.

 

 

  • Podcasts:  I follow several word nerdy podcasts, but my favorites are:
    • books outsideBooks on the Nightstand
    • Book Riot

 

  • Social Media:  on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram, I follow:
    • Epic Reads
    • Book Riot
    • Publisher’s Feeds (Penguin/ Random House, HuffPost, etc.)
    • Here’s a link to my Twitter “books” list
    • Use #bookstagram to find bookish folks to follow on IG

 

For Kid Lit

  • Common Sense Media: My go to site/ app to learn about the content of books (and movies, games, etc) and find reading ideas.  They’ve got lists based on age, topic, genre.  Common Sense Media is a great resource for families.
  • Guys Read:  A site geared to guys of all ages.  They have book of the month selections and lists of suggestions like, “Scary”, “Funny”, and “At least one explosion”.  They’ve also put out some great short story collections.  Read my blog post on Guys Read here.
  • Nerdy Book Club: a great site for book reviews and articles on how to promote reading with kids.
  • Tweens Read Too: reviews and information on books that “middle schoolers will actually like”
  • The Eighth Day Kid Lit Author Sites, including:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word Nerd Note:  One of my followers reminded me of these old fashioned places called libraries.  Perhaps you’ve heard of them?  You can actually get books for free at these places, as many as you want.  They also offer free Internet access and play an important role in literacy and connection in local communities.  Don’t forget to check them out!

Where do you go to learn about new books to read?  Please add your favorite places in the comments.  I’m going to turn this post into a resource page for the blog, and I’m happy to include your ideas!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Julia