I’m a huge fan of Fredrik Backman, starting a few years ago with A Man Called Ove. Backman, who is from Sweden, has such an eloquent style and a talent for capturing truths about life and human nature.
Premise
My Friends is a hero’s journey with a coming of age novel tucked inside. Backman gives us two unlikely companions, middle-aged Ted and teen Louisa, who accidentally find each other because of one painting. Immediately, if not awkwardly, they connect over a love for art and the people who create it. Backman, with his gorgeous writing and lyrical style, captures the importance of friendship and connection.
What I like
The characters in My Friends are flawed, foolish, and struggling, yet they are also hilarious and endearing. More than once while listening to the audiobook, I laughed out loud. Backman captures the naivete and rawness of youth. I enjoyed spending time with these 14 year olds. Every character in this book has faced some kind of challenge or dysfunction, and that is what binds them together and makes their stories so compelling.
Ted, a very careful and anxious character, while recalling a memory for Louisa, thinks this about himself: “He is scared of a sound he didn’t even experience. That’s the worst thing about having a vivid imagination. It works in all directions.” I’ve been cursed with a vivid imagination my entire life, and I could fully relate to this statement.
Backman also has a knack for expressing emotions in new and creative ways. I have decided to use his writing for a study of how to bring fresh techniques for conveying emotion into my own writing. I loved this quote about adolescence:
Our teenage years have to simultaneously be the brightest light and the darkest depths because that’s how we learn to figure out our horizons.
For me, a sign that a book resonated with me is how many highlights or notes I have about it. For My Friends, I had plenty. Here’s a great one about parenthood:
Being a parent is so strange; all our children’s pain belongs to us, but so does their joy.
And here’s one that seems particularly relevant to the chaos of our world today:
A violent man is a sickness for all around him. Violence is a plague that spreads through everybody it comes into contact with.
I loved the themes of resilience, forgiveness, and putting up with the flaws of others in our lives. As someone who loves and appreciates art, I enjoyed how My Friends highlights the importance of art in making life not just easier to endure, but also much more enjoyable.
What I don’t like
While there are happy moments and endings, the overall tone of My Friends is sad. It took me a while to finish because it wasn’t a book that made me want to get back to it. Yet, one of my friends said she couldn’t put it down because she loved the story so much.
Perhaps part of my reason for having trouble was that until well into the book, one of the main characters in the story is referred to as “The Artist” – this made him feel distant.
Recommendation
I like Beartown and A Man Called Ove better. But, if you like art or friendship or quirky characters, My Friends is a worthwhile read. Be ready to laugh and cry.
Have you read any of Backman’s work? What do you like best and why? Tell us about it in the comments.
Thanks for getting nerdy with me!
